Most people who are into acting are familiar with the feeling of hope one gets when auditions for a play are coming up: those who haven’t gotten lead roles, especially. Since the fall of junior year, I had this hopeful feeling of excitement every time I auditioned for a play, thinking I might have the chance at a lead role; thinking I’d be able to handle a lead role. However, after multiple disappointments and instances of getting roles with little to no lines at all, that feeling began to fade away. This loss of hope was especially inspired when the latest musical came around and a sophomore got a lead. Sorry, what??? Yes, a sophomore got a lead role, while I, Danielle Walker, got a role without any lines.
Words cannot describe how disappointed, angry, and completely disheartened I was. After working my butt off for 3 years of doing every drama production and taking a couple Drama classes in school, a sophomore comes out of nowhere, with little experience, and takes the lead. The musical passed, and auditions for the drama production, First Impressions, were closing in on me. I entered the theater, trying to suppress any and all hope that tried to spark itself within me, trying to make sure I would not face yet another disappointment.
The same night, everyone who auditioned was sent an email with the cast list. I remember beginning to feel excited as I downloaded the file, while also hoping I wouldn't too dismayed with the part I’d receive. However, when I opened the attachment, there was my name: right at the top, next to the name of the lead role, Jane Austen. My heart soared, and I was in disbelief. How many times had I wished I could even come close to getting one of the most important characters? And now, I had gone from getting insignificant characters who could probably be cut out without making much of a difference to getting THE MOST important role in the play. I told myself I’d work extra hard; harder than any of the girls who had gotten leads before; harder than the ones who still struggled with lines during Tech Week (also known as Hell Week), only a few days before the show. I figured we had tons of time, so what could possibly prevent me from memorizing my lines well before the week of the show?
During the first couple weeks, I decided I had plenty of time. So, I only looked at my script while in rehearsal, and spent my free time doing homework and playing Minecraft. After that, I did not have as much free time. Teachers were piling on homework and I had family obligations, etc. So much for trying to memorize my lines a before the week prior to the show. I still felt like I could get it together, however, and make it work. I was excited, I really felt connected to my character, and I wanted to make this one of the best shows I’d ever done.
Then, of course, Hell Week approached. Not only did I not have all of my lines memorized, but one of my co-lead roles had less than ten of her lines memorized. Unfortunately, I’d be lying if I said I was exaggerating. Still, I tried my hardest to make the show the best it could be. I practiced improvisation, in case something went incredibly wrong during the show. I was nervous, and I finally began to realize that maybe getting a lead role wasn't as great as I originally thought. It was so much work, and it wasn't something I was used to. I felt like I wasn't good enough for the part, and I had nightmares about the show being completely awful…
The night of the first performance had come. I felt sick with excitement and nerves, and I had no idea whether I should be scared out of my wits, or happy to finally be letting others see this amazing thing that I helped bring together. When there were only minutes before the house lights were to be turned off, the stage lights turned on, and I would walk out, I began to feel a bit panicked. So many friends and family were out there (more than I realized, actually) and I did not want to disappoint them.
When the show was over, and the house lights went on, I saw all of the people who had come to support us. The total audience was not very large, but our group seemed to make up at least a quarter of the people who showed up. I was overwhelmed by so many emotions; when I went to say hello to all of the people who came just to see me and my sister, I got so many wonderful compliments- compliments so lovely that I could hardly believe them, thinking about all the mistakes that had been made throughout the performance. The entire experience was amazing, and I got to know myself a little bit better from it.
I now realize that getting small roles does not necessarily make you unimportant; the director can see things that maybe you don’t, and she clearly saw something in me that led her to believe I could do well as Jane Austen. While I thoroughly enjoyed the challenge and experience, I have come to the conclusion that I actually prefer smaller parts. Smaller parts are not at all unimportant, they all add something to the production, even if you don’t really see it. And you know what? Next time I audition for a play, I will be perfectly content with a small role. They’re just as fun to do, and less difficult to fit into my schedule. So, with that, I hope you enjoyed reading about my stressful, yet fantastic experience! Keep in mind that every experience gives you the opportunity to self-evaluate and learn more about yourself. You may be surprised by the things you discover!