*Note: This is a dream I had back in July of 2013, and has nothing to do with what has happened in real life.
When I looked into his eyes for the first time, I forgot the reason we were all here. What was this summer camp called? What was it for? It was something like a camp for teens, where everyone would pair up with one or more people. Each pair, or group, would spend the next few weeks creating a short film about whatever they like. The only criteria was that it had to relate to at least one person in the group. So, when I looked around the room to see who I might pair up with besides my sister, it was his eyes that caught mine. Jordan had already formed a group with other people, who she seemed to be happily chatting with. I felt like he was looking into my soul as he walked up to me and introduced himself as Anthony.
Within the next few days, we learned a lot about each other. I noticed how easy it was to talk to him and how much I enjoyed his company. It felt like I had known him for years, though in reality I only met him a few days before. Still, it was clear that I was beginning to form feelings for him. He made it obvious that this was also true for him.
During the rest of camp, I watched as our sudden friendship quickly turned into something more- a romance. I had never been one to like kissing; the mouth is linked to so many illnesses, and I absolutely hated when guys tried putting their tongues in my mouth. However, I liked feeling his lips press against mine, the warm, fuzzy feeling I got every time he was near me. Our short film became something bittersweet; a summer romance to be ended abruptly by a monster that had haunted me since childhood.
Anthony had a secret, one that I figured he would tell me when he was ready... We recorded our moments together. That video camera caught our happiest moments, and our saddest ones. It caught his beautiful laugh, with that perfect smile and the shining stars in his eyes. It also saw his tears, my tears, and our attempts to comfort each other; it witnessed our most intimate moments. The last thing we recorded together was when he told me the secret he had been keeping from me. It ended in tears, in frustration and in anger.
The monster that had tried taking me many years ago, had returned yet again. This time, however, it came for someone I cared about deeply. Anthony was dying of cancer. When he told me, we were sitting on a park bench, foreheads pressed together. We both cried. Through his tears, he held me close, and whispered to me the most beautiful words that I had ever heard, “I love you.” I agreed to let him take all of the video clips home and compile them into our short film. He was better than me with technology, anyway. The last day was coming up quickly, and in the last few days before we would hand over our DVDs, Anthony and I spent the most wonderful hours together. We shared tearful kisses, and talked.. we talked about everything, except the future.
On the day before the last day of camp, we turned in our DVDs, and everyone was excited. The woman in charge said she would make copies of them and mail each of us a copy of every film. The next day, however, she came to camp with tears in her eyes, and a DVD in her hand. It was our DVD. She explained that we were going to watch it before going on with the day. She didn’t say what it was, who it was by, or why she was showing that specific film. I was curious, because I hadn’t seen it after Anthony finished it. He was the only one who knew what to expect.
Instead of being a video about a silly summer fling, it turned out to be a tragedy about a short-lived romance that was ruined by cancer. He added extra clips of himself in there... A clip of us kissing was overlapped by his voice saying, “her sweet kisses made all my problems seem so distant...” He talked about his cancer, and how it made him feel weak. All the while it was showing the videos of us laughing, talking, and just.. being together. When the video ended, I was sobbing in his arms, and everyone else was either stunned into silence, or had tears streaming down their faces. No one had known he was sick... He worked so hard to make himself look normal and healthy. All this time, though, the monster had been eating him from the inside out, and now I was finally seeing it. I saw the dark circles that had formed under his eyes, and noticed how much weight he’d lost. His embrace made him seem so weak, so vulnerable.
In the following week, he quickly got worse. I had to visit him at his house, because he no longer had the strength to go outside. The last time I visited him, he could barely keep his eyes open. It was depressing to see all the strength he once had just.. disappear. I held him in my arms as he drifted in and out of sleep, and then.. he looked up at me, said, “I love you,” and went limp. I cried, and held him close to me, even though I knew he was gone.