Over You

Close to the beginning of first semester, I met this guy who I thought was so amazing. He seemed so sweet and honest and I quickly jumped into a relationship that ended so horribly I almost wish I could go back and undo all of it. Yet, this experience has taught me a lot, and I know that I have certainly grown from it, even if it wasn't the most pleasant way to learn something. Still, sometimes the only way to teach someone something is by letting them learn it the hard way. That's what I had to do. I certainly have my flaws and had my fair share of poor moments as a girlfriend, but this guy ultimately was the one who messed up our relationship, and he is the one who ran away from it. I was doing everything I could think of at the time to fix our relationship, and sure, maybe I was going about it in the wrong way at times, but it takes time and patience to make something work. I was making the effort to better our relationship, because I cared about him deeply and wanted to be with him, despite what he did to hurt me. Some people just don't think about relationships that way, though. They believe that if something goes wrong and it's not fixed immediately or in a short period of time, then that relationship isn't worth staying in. Those kinds of people are the ones who shouldn't be dating, because when you make a commitment to someone, especially if you're talking about marriage, then the bad/rough times are when you need to be especially dedicated. He wasn't, and that's fine. Now I know, and I just hope that he can work through is own issues and refrain from entering another relationship until he is ready to make the commitment that is required of him and until he can learn to be more selfless, instead of constantly expecting his significant other to be the one to accommodate and support him.

Anyway, a number of weeks after he dumped me, I wrote this poem. It really expresses the hurt I was going through and some of the anger I was feeling at the time. Thankfully, God has granted me peace. I do not feel any anger towards him anymore, and I recognize my own faults and my part in breaking down the relationship.

A few weeks ago the world seemed to be crashing down on me.

You left me and I felt like I lost everything, honestly.

I was this upset over a boy? Yes.

That’s just how some breakups go, I guess.

Time heals everything, though.

Believe it or not, it does, though it may be slow.

Hours feel like days,

Days feel like weeks.

Getting through it feels like being in an endless maze.

I thought I was so in love with you,

But now I’m getting over you, too.

It wasn’t love; it was war.

You may have won some battles

But I, alone, am the victor.

You did things a woman should never tolerate,

And I forgave you, giving you a clean slate.

But it wasn’t clean;

It was tainted.

You continued to do things that were mean

Until you shattered the image of love I had painted.

I’ll never get back all that I lost,

But you’re the one who will suffer the cost.

I loved you like no other girl ever will,

I gave you a kind of love for which some would kill.

You gave that up and threw it away.

That was your choice, so easy today,

But you’ll look back and regret it someday.

Each day that passes becomes easier than the last.

Soon, your memory will be something of the past.

When I think of you, I’ll be able to laugh;

We all make mistakes, and that’s not bad.

I am moving on,

And I will find someone new-

Someone who will love me more than you;

Someone who will cherish me and treat me with respect,

A relationship neither of us will ever think to neglect.